The memory remains

It snowed today. That's not uncommon around here. Neither is being let down by the newest entry in a game franchise. I was willing to overlook the flaws in No More Heroes 2, because I was sure that the end would justify the means. The first game had an absolutely warped final act, even more so if you went for the "true" ending. I should have known something was up, since that ending pretty much blew any chances for a sequel out of the water. The endgame sequence in No More Heroes 2 was a huge let down in every way. The main enemy was established during the first five minutes of the game, and was never replaced by a bigger bad, something quite common in Japanese game design, and something the first game did with great effect. It was especially disappointing, since by that time the game looked like it had shifted out of neutral, and was starting to move under its own power, instead of coasting.

The battle with Ryuji, while a poorly implemented and unnecessarily aggravating ended quite nicely. The supermarket level and boss fight with Margaret was the sole shining moment in the entire game. The no. 2 ranked assassin, Alice, and her level were very well designed and excelled in everything, until the actual battle started. A bit of fanservice in the forms of fighting against the giant-brain-in-the-machine, Letz Shake, and getting control over Shinobu and Henry round out the list of things that were impressive. The last time I remember making a list of things that didn't suck about a game I was playing Final Fantasy VII.

When the main enemy is introduced we were shown a shadow of a little troll at the top of a skyscraper. After fighting to the top of the building hours later, we're greeted by the little troll, who sounds just as annoying as he looks. The battle starts of on an interesting note, which gets squashed before it can even become relevant after his first stage is defeated after about a minute. Following that little diversion, the real fight starts against his powered up second form, which uses all the game's technical faults to his advantage. Did you know that an enemy can register damage to Travis while he's just beginning to get up from being knocked down? You'll learn that one very quickly. Combine this with an attack that knocks Travis back down, and a corner, and you've got a brilliant new meta game, 'give the player a heart attack,' it's like the last boss is actually trying to kill _me_. The difficulty of the game seems to be based around punishing certain actions the player can learn to over-rely on. If the fourth hit of a sword combo knocks the opponent down, instantly counter with a move that instead knocks the player down. This strategy fails when the player switches tactics to something the developers didn't account for. If the boss knocks me down on the fourth hit, I'll just hit him three times, run around, jump back in, hit him three more time, repeat. This is lazy and boring game design. When the last boss battle is phoned in, you've got to worry for the rest of the game. Once that headache is out of the way, we get to the dumbest part.

In case the first two forms weren't annoying enough, we get the third. Usually, in boss design, each successive form is more powerful (harder) than the previous one. Sometimes the designers throw a curve, where the final form is much weaker, but that's usually after a marathon battle where they want to give the player a little extra emphasis on the victory. The final form of the NMH 2 last boss is more powerful, in that his attacks do more damage, but he is not harder. For his final form the boss grows to many times the size of Travis, who stays at his original size. Due to this some compromises had to be made to the way they interact with each other. Basically the giant boss floats conveniently next to the platform Travis runs around on, and lets the player pound on him until he reels back for a big swing or a beam attack. If you get hit by those, you're pretty much hosed, but they're very easy to dodge. This form lasts less time than even the first form, and feels therefore, completely unnecessary. I didn't accomplish anything but finally end this annoying event, and can finally watch the following cutscene, which just further waters down the impact of what just happened.

Immediately after the boss dies, Travis is falling off the building he was just fighting on. He's saved at the last minute, as per cliche. In this case, it would have had more impact, pardon the pun, if he simply fell to his death after climbing to the figurative and literal top. That is irony. Anything else, is sabotaging any attempt at relevant storytelling. If the player felt the whole game experience was a waste of time, as I did, he'd be satisfied to finally have it end, and see everyone involved get what they deserved for putting us through that. I think it would be what Suda would want. I have a feeling the quality control issues with this game all stem from the fact that Suda had very little hands-on time with this game. (Which makes me wonder just what the hell he's been doing?) His name is always last in the credits, and only mentioned in some sort of lofty ceremonial position like "executive president" or some shit. Sort of like SEGA or Sony CEO's get top billing on the games their company puts out, even though they likely have zero programing experience, or talent of any sort. I have a feeling this was not something Suda wanted his name on to begin with. It wouldn't surprise me if it was in fact Ubisoft who were responsible for fast-tracking this project. No More Heroes I'm sure was much more popular in the West than Japan. I know Suda is a genius creator, but he is also smart enough to know that bills need to be paid. Even though I was not happy with Grasshopper Manufacturer's latest, I hope it goes on to be a success, and helps fund that Michigan remake.