Faildroid

I accidentally my phone on the other day, and similarly unwittingly loaded up my cellphone GOTY 2010, Retroid Shooting. There was an update for this a few weeks back, but I've long since stopped caring. The game was super fun, but it's also super shallow. No further enhancements were ever made past the inclusion of the second playable character. This time around I noticed a link advertising the new Retroid Shooting 2. Could it be? An awesomer sequel to the most awesome Android game to date? I DL'ed that sucker with the quickness, and fired it up. It's... meh? It has more characters, more music tracks, enhanced graphics, and less fun. The app is free, funded by some sort of click-through scam, not unlike many old school warez sites, where you have to click through to a sponsors site, in order to earn "Roids." Roids are the in-game currency which is needed to unlock new levels. How very un-arcade game-like. You can earn them through playing, but completing a level earns you six or so, while a new level requires 50 to unlock. This deflates my hype for this game quite significantly. Calling a game "Retroid" while incorporating the most insidious social-micro-fuckery of modern game "monetization" flies contrary to the simple arcade fun of the original. I am disappoint.

In other cellphone bullshit news, Cave has finally released ESPGaluda II and DoDonPachi Resurrection on Android handsets. The problem is that they did so via a third party publishing partner, which doesn't have a royalty check collecting scheme in place to distribute the games outside of Japan. Combined with Google's region locking of the Market, the fun is rapidly escaping from this whole Android thing. If anyone needs me, I'll be playing Wizardry on my iPad.